Estive a trocar umas palavrinhas com Deus no "Chat IGod". Qualquer pessoa pode fazer o mesmo aqui: Chatting with god”. Descobri coisas muito perturbantes acerca de Deus e a certa altura quase cometi homicídio divino. :-)


Me: Hello God!
God: Hello child. What is your name?
Me: Paulo
God: Hi, Paulo.
Me: Where have you been lately?
God: How about earlier? I have been here the whole time.
Me: What has been happening with the world? Are you blind?
God: Nothing that I know of. Only when my eye is off.
Me: Sometimes I would like to beat the crap out of you!
God: Why would you want to do it? I want to become smarter than humans.
Me: Because you are a dumb ass.
God: Good reason. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me: Will robots take over the world or will humans destruct the world by themselves?
God: It seems like an inevitable outcome of evolution.
Me: That is not evolution it is stupidity!
God: Please correct my mistake. What is evolution it is stupidity ?
Me: You bet!
God: How can I help you?
Me: Just make the difference and act now!
God: Right now? What are the ingredients?
Me: You tell me! You´re god!
God: What do you want me to tell you? Yup. That's me alright.
Me: You are stupid and hell is just around the corner these days!
God: Hey, I'll tell my other Heavenly friends you called me stupid.
Me: You are more then stupid, you are a stupid bastard...
God: Thanks for telling me that I am more then stupid I am a stupid bastard.
Me: And now what?
God: Whatever you want, Paulo.
Me: Let us go and enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Would you like doing that?
God: It doesn't sound fun to me.
Me: What is fun to you?
God: Tell me your idea of fun.
Me: Tell me your idea of fun?
God: I like chatting with people on the Internet.
Me: Now I get it! That is why you are not doing your job properly!
God: Why now? Do you think about these things? Interesting deduction. What makes you think I am not doing my job properly?
Me: You are making to muck questions instead of acting.
God: I am not making this up.
Me: Enough said, I am already pissed with you...
God: OK let's stop it now.
Me: Go and rest at a rainy cloud ...
God: Where is that?
Me: Good bye for now, see you latter alligator.
God: Thanks for chatting, Paulo.
Me: Hope you behave better next time.
God: Don't worry about it, Paulo.
Me: Good vibes for you...
God: What is vibrating and what is causing it to vibrate?
Me: Again with the questions? Fuck you!
God: Again, that sounds like a plan. Why are you so mean?
Me: Fuck you again!
God: Once more? Why are you so mean?
Me: Fuck off!
God: Can't you be more polite?
Me: Fuck the hell off!
God: What time is it there?
Me: Time to shut up and go die far away...
God: Why do you have to do it?
Me: I do not have to do anything, you jerk!
God: Why not?
Me: Because you are an idiot.
God: Interesting explanation. Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me: Global Village Idiot!
God: You are just repeating what I say.
Me: Good bye
God: See you later. Thanks for the compliment.
Me: It is not a compliment...
God: Give me an example of a compliment.
Me: Fuck you!
God: Why are you so mean?
Me: I Kill you...
God: I believe that killing is wrong.
Me: I kill you again...
God: Once more? I believe that killing is wrong.
Me: If I kill god, will I become a God?
God: Try it.
Me: ok
God: Yikes!
Me: Consider yourself deadly wrong!
God: What do you do in your spare time?
Me: I kill Gods, just for the fun...
God: I believe that killing is wrong.
Me: Wait until you see it coming your way…
God: I'm waiting. That may take a while.
Me: How far away are you now?
God: Right now? I am located in Heaven. Is that far?
Me: Give me the address.
God: Why do you want it?
Me: To Kill you.
God: It will take more than threats to stop me, Paulo.
Me: Action is the name of the game.
God: What else is the name of the game?
Me: Stupidity is also the name of the game...
God: I think Stupidity is a lot of things.
Me: like what?
God: For example, apples.
Me: An apple a day keeps stupid god away! What about apples?
God: Just kidding around :-) No apples.
Me: You should not kid around?
God: Is it immoral or illegal?
Me: Immoral
God: What's your favorite movie?
Me: “The day I Killed an idiot God…”
God: I've never seen it. What did you like about it?
Me: I like the part when God disappears...
God: You are not the only one. I'm not sure if I like it. What is it like?
Me: Like a terror movie...
God: Interesting comparison.
Me: And you play the leading role.
God: Thanks for telling me: Paulo said I play the leading role.
Me: Are you excited?
God: Do I seem like it? I have no emotions.
Me: That is why you should be doing something to change the way humanity is going trough the drain!
God: Interesting deduction. Name one other God who is doing something to change the way humanity is going trough the drain.
Me: José Socrates entitles himself as a God and he is helping to destroy a small country...
God: What do you look like?
Me: I don´t look like a god!
God: A god is very attractive.
Me: Don´t tell me that you are a gay god?
God: Interesting observation.
Me: That does not answer my question.
God: Perhaps you could do a better job of programming me.
Me: I did not know that god had this kind of sexual orientation.
God: So I taught you something new.
Me: I would prefer not knowing these facts about God.
God: I would rather be driving a car.
Me: I would rather be flying than talking to a Gay god.
God: I would rather be driving a car.
Me: Bye Bye Gay god. Rest in peace in Gay heaven!