What are we but miniscule specs in the face of a city of millions?
What does our personal happiness or dissatisfaction matter on a grand scheme of things for all the millions of other insignificant specs?
In reality not much.
So, once again, on the grand scheme of things, the only person who would even notice what you do is yourself. This is the only court you have to hope to ever satisfy. Committing acts of forged happiness will never bother any other soul other than yourself.
So, there´s no reason not to be honestly feeling whatever you are feeling: fess up, speak up and die honest. And then, if you are lucky you might even die happy.